Top 10 Weird/Funny Things My 5-Year-Old Does and Says

Top 10 Weird/Funny Things My 5-Year-Old Does and Says:

1) "Mommy, if you stick up your middle finger, you have to stick up a buddy-finger with it so he's not alone."

I'm guessing he learned this in school by accidentally giving the finger. He was doing that around the house, thinking it stood for the "number 1", but I was having a hard time explaining the truth about that one.

2) Damien: "So...Girls have TWO buttholes?!!!"

3) One day, he got up and made himself a bowl of cereal, but except milk, he put in Mountain Dew instead... That was one HELL of a morning!

4) He knows every name to every "My Little Pony" pony and watches the cartoon series religiously. I guess he's a "brony"...

If you don't know what a "brony" is, I suggest you google it...

5) He pokes little holes in the wall with a pen behind my back. I'll fix them by covering and filling the holes with spackling, but the next day or two, the spackling will be pushed in by yet, another pen, recreating the hole again.

You have no idea how much this frustrates me!

6) I was watching Beavis and Butthead, when my son was actually peeking his head in the room without me noticing (was supposed to be in bed) and ended up picking up the word "butt-biscuit". 

His grandmothers, grandfathers, and uncles are now called "butt-biscuits" by him.

7.) Dave: "We got an hour to kill, Damien. What do you want to do?"

    Damien: "But, I don't WANT to kill people!!!" *panicking*

8) Everytime he farts, whether on purpose, or by accident, he has to make sure he announces it to everyone before continuing on with his day.

I've been trying to break this from him for a while now. I'm still trying to figure out who he's been hanging around that laughs at their own farts, too.

9) We were in the car, listening to music. We had on Limp Bizkit, but noticing the amount of cursing in the song, I changed it. But I guess I was too late, because right when the song cuts off, I hear in the backseat, "F*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!"

Me: Gasp! "WHAT?!"

Damien: "Nothing!!!"

10) Just Damien and I went to the mall by ourselves. It was early in the morning, and that's usually when no ones there, except for little old ladies that go do their shopping at Sears and Macy's. 

One sweet old lady passed us and stopped kindly to say, "What a sweet little boy you have! He's so cute!"

And I swear, not even 10 seconds later, Damien rips the biggest fart ever, and since the store was so quiet, and we were on the escalator between both floors of the store, everybody (and I mean everybody) heard it! Then he HAD to announce it! 

"Mommy! Haha! I just farted!"

It was quite embarrassing...

-Markie (of course, Damien's proud Mommy!)

Annd one more "funny" for this post! This is actually a real photo of my son! Same with the first photo! Both are real :)